It's quite a lousy feeling when a brain clot surges at the most unexpected timing and the roaring emotions and stories waiting to be poured out goes unheard. Gone. Yes, terribly unbecoming I know.

I'm feeling a subtly warm and sanctified sensation that's going through the spirit and soul tonight. Like the summer wind over the calm tranquil lake; am pacified by the embrace of kindness and love. Let us join hands in meditation with greatest respect in light of Earth Hour and the American Election that beckons a new twilight of the era - say "Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." and you know this goes on indefinitely eh?

Okay, but, serious. A kind deed has its returns and I have reaped the spiritual benefits of giving tonight. Firstly, played counsellor and imposed self on my tuition student when he broke out in what seemed like a trivial squabble with his siblings. Although the effort to appease the situation came in vain and things ended up ugly when what seemed like the mother walking in with an expressionless face and a quite expected turn out for the kids after I left the house (I could almost imagine the mother running after the children with a cane on hand after I heard noises coming from inside >< ). Anyways, apart from the usual disinterest and halfhearted attempts to keep himself awake during tuition, my student offered me something more invaluable tonight, that is, perspective. I think I see a lot of myself at a more juvenile age then in him often. The coming-of-age period when we all try really hard to come to terms with so many things, like, having to make difficult reconciliation with judgemental parents, throatcutting with siblings over littlest things, and fighting to keep ourselves sane over the consistent bombardment of fashion, peer pressure, the media and so on so forth. Oh, and how can I forget, even the trying phase of puberty no one can escape (thank god I got through with that alive). I know Marcus is having a difficult time but there's so little I can offer; and seriously I think it is only right and of necessary need that I draw a delicate line between my job as a tutor and the one-sided willingness to even consider him as a friend. Afterall, we all have a life to deal with and I don't think given my capacity I can or am willing to make life a tad better for the kid. But I think that the issue at hand should be dealt with from the core of the matter which i am not quite sure of yet but with certain faith I can assure that the evident knowledge of being loved by people around him will suffice to tide him through. Lucky kiddo.

With love and hope, nothing is impossible. Mother Teresa summons.

I want to talk about something else that prequels after this little episode, but I cannot because it will probably take forever before I can even finish writing before midnight.

YES. The second dignified deed of the day was that I helped an old lady comb the floor for a 10-cent coin she dropped by accident. We did not manage to retrieve what was lost but the incidence was proof to myself that I am still (thankfully) capable of being a nice person even though I never did quite imagine myself to ever be one. And that we can always break through that superficial/solipsistic/hypocritical/and-who-knows-what-other makeup of this existing persona - only if we take the first step. I hope anything counts, because the knowledge of what I have achieved today is really comforting in the name of humanity.

Truth of the day: we should never stop trying in pursuit of a 真善美 that resides within us. Eat that.

On other drier news, the pre-F1 demonstration of a singular racing car at Padang today under the sweltering sun was a let down. I felt reallllly conned today because there was no freebies as promised earlier! Only those who made their way to the grandstand got lah! Johnnie Walker exclusive umbrellas least. Ahhhh kiasu Singaporean reduced to the most miserable state now.

Weekends usually aren't spent with parents. But the past two nights alone felt exceptionally odd at home; I miss Mommy's nagging and Daddy tuning to TV and going semi-asleep. T.T